A knock out

So here is why my day was bad.
I woke up ready for the day. So far so good.
I get to drill at 6:20. Good
I then find out that my co is asking everyone if I talk smack about her. Bad
Then get accused of lying by my snsi. Bad
Snsi is backed by co. bad
Find out my co is talking smack about me. bad
Get to school late and teacher glares at me. Bad
That is the first part of my day, and it kinda went down hill from there. But lets fast forward to youth church. All this felt like sucker punches too.

Yesterday, Nate and I decided that Ben was going to run sound. After helping Ben get all ready for the night, I sat in the front. I don’t remember the last time that had gotten to sit in youth church with out having to worry about sound. And it was awesome. I had experienced worship at c3 in a way that I just about forgot about. Then we the worship came Gods voice. (Punch number dos, it was right to the face (like a haymaker)) I ask for forgiveness and I get back into the grove of worship again. Justin’s band was playing and I really enjoy them. Next came the talk by Pastor Gary. I really like his talk, in fact I would say it was the best talk in youth church this year, (comes a close second after the permission talk). His talk was on intimidation. I really liked on how we broke up in a small groups to talk to over. I jumped in to the group discussion and for the first time in my life I couldn’t communicate my thoughts. Everything I said came out wrong. Then it hit me.(here came the knock out punch) God was telling to shut up and listen. While partaking in the discussion I was missing out what I needed to hear. At the end, the light clicked on and I realized I was intimidated. I am intimidated to the point where it rules my life. I let others make my decisions by not wanting to be who I want to be. I was being intimidated by people who don’t even know me. I will try to write more about this later.